Dear CoolBlue,
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
That is what they say about women who are rejected by the ones they love. Believe me, I could have gone that route. When I read your answer, I was so consumed by hurt. My pride got hurt. Being the proud person that I am, I wanted to diss you right there and then. It wasn’t much about the content as it was about the delivery. You could have emailed me personally or you could have texted me or you could have done it in a more subtle way - by just putting the words “Meron” or “Wala”. That was what I said in my text, right? Because I don’t need any explanations. It would only make things more complicated. I wouldn’t want you to sugar coat it either.
You might be surprised with this letter. You might think, “Ano na naman ba ‘to?”. Well, when a part of you hurts, you have to do something to make the pain go away. The pain is not about being rejected. I have been down this road a couple of times before. The pain is about being rejected in front of so many people. Strong as I am, I don’t have the ability to handle public rejection quite well.
When I read your letter I wanted so much to make you feel the pain. I know I could do that. I have done something like that before. I have almost ruined someone’s life because of my selfishness. But instead I opted to do the only mature thing to do - I let it pass. I replied to you in private, I hope you got it. I opted to suffer in silence. I opted to carry this on my own because, in the first place, this was something that I should have been ready for.
But allow me to just clear this - just because I told you how I feel doesn’t mean that I want us to be “us”. I just want you to know, nothing more, nothing less. If the feeling is mutual, good. If it’s not, it’s okay. I also have my own priorities and problems that any relationship at this point in time would just end in failure because I don’t have enough time. I’m sure you know that. I’m sure you know how I went for 5 days with so little sleep and food. It wasn’t my first time to do that. I have been doing that for quite sometime because I have so many things to attend to. I have so many things that I want to accomplish and to prove.
At least now I know it’s not mutual. At least now I know where I stand. It hurts but, at least, I know I am still capable of loving. That’s all that matters. Because, in the end, love is more about giving than it is about receiving.
Thank you for the offer of friendship but, like I said, that’s like adding insult to injury. We can’t be friends. Not now, at least. I would just misinterpret everything that you do just like the way I have misinterpreted everything that you did.
- Ako
Second part of the post:
Pansin mo yung makabagbag-damdaming post sa itaas? Kanina ko pa yan iniisip. Napag-usapan kasi namin ng isa kong kaibigan ang galit, relationships, love. Para sa’kin, everything boils down to respect. Respetuhin mo, rerespetuhin ka rin pabalik. Para din sa trabaho yan e. Reprimand in private but praise in public. At pag nag-reprimand ka, make sure na you do it in a nice way - Positive - Negative - Positive.
Unfortunately, not many people know what respect is all about. With respect comes sensitivity. Hinde ka pwedeng humirit ng humirit all the time. You have to be aware of how the other party would react.
Okay, for those who are in a relationship, plans to be in a relationship, cannot handle a relationship, or are plain lost when it comes to relationships:
- If you can’t love someone, if you can’t return the feelings, stay away. Now is not the right time to offer friendship. Pwedeng iba ang maging interpretation sa actions mo.
- Wag kang magbibitiw ng linyang “hinde ako ang nararapat para sa kanya”. Hinde mo alam kung ano pwedeng mangyari sa mga susunod na araw, linggo, buwan o taon para sabihin yan. Besides, standard nya ang magma-matter, hinde standard mo. Wag mo syang pangunahan. Magpasalamat ka na lang na may nagkagusto sa’yo.
- Wag mong kwestyunin kung bakit sya nagkagusto sa’yo. Pag nagmahal ka, hinde mo rin naman kayang ipaliwanag kung bakit mo minahal yung taong yun. Pag dumating yung time na kaya mo nang ipaliwanag, hinde na pagmamahal yan.
- Kung mahal mo, mahal mo. Kung hinde mo mahal, just say so. Wag kang magi-in between na sagot. Nakamamatay ng neurons yun. Hinde rin naman siguro ganun ka-bobo yung kausap mo para hinde maintindihan ang pagkakaiba ng Oo sa Hinde. Wag playing safe kasi ikaw ang mawawalan.
- Tandaan: Walang manlalandi kung walang magpapalandi. In short, hinde ka nyan mamahalin ng todo-todo kung hinde ka nagpakita ng motibo.
Kumplikadong topic ang pag-ibig. Kalinya sya ng religion at politics (although hinde kasing deadly). Pero yun ang isang bagay na kayang pag-usapan ng lahat ng tao. Lahat tayo ay may kakayahang magmahal…wag sayangin…dahil may mga taong ibibigay ang buhay nila para maranasan lang ulit ang magmahal at mahalin.
